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H.O.T.S. (Anchor Bay)
A godsend to teenage horndogs at the dawn of the VHS/cable boom, this 1979 breastfest has scarcely aged a day -- it's just as insipid as it looked back then, with the volume turned down in your parents' basement. Co-scripted by '70s sex starlet Cheri Caffaro, with all the storytelling savvy of bus-depot porn, the setup pits a rebel sorority of top-heavy hotties against their snooty rivals. The plot is best savored on chapter skip: Do you really need to know why the chick and two crooks are in a hot-air balloon with a bear, or why Danny Bonaduce is getting his 'nads licked by a seal? But pause when director Gerald Seth Sindell unveils his stroke of cinematic genius: a strip-football climax shot from underneath a topless huddle. And the first T&A appears all of 38 seconds into the movie. Like I said: genius. -- Jim Ridley
Fantastic Voyage (Fox)
Four decades after its release, Richard Fleischer's vein voyage still dazzles -- not merely on the screen, but behind the scenes. With no proper making-of, this special edition of the pic -- in which Donald Pleasence, Stephen Boyd, and Raquel Welch are made teensy-tiny and shot into a dying man's bloodstream -- relies on old promos and commentary tracks to explain its torturous origins. And they're more effective than any old doc: The deadpan, Mystery Science Theater-style commentary is as insightful as it is hysterical, while a TV promo made before special effects essentially renders it an exercise in the worst acting ever. You'll come to see the film not as the technological marvel it was, but as some wild work of abstract art, in which someone just happened to cast Welch as a distraction. -- Robert Wilonsky