Ro...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/news/violent-jewelry-thieves-prowl-south-florida http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/news/salvia-sucks Deep in Hialeah, among body shops, crisscrossing highway ramps, and tall, scattered palm trees, is a porn shop. You can find the same old skankiness here — whips, midget porn, ice trays shaped as tiny penises, and, of course, the Jack Rabbit. But in a glass case that snakes around the store...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/news/salvia-sucks http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/news/coral-gables-muckraker-george-volsky-busts-city-manager-david-brown Armed with a pen and notebook, 87-year-old George Volsky climbed the stairs in Coral Gables City Hall the afternoon of August 12. With his thick black eyeglasses and the last of his snowy hair parted to the side, he could have passed for just another Florida retiree. But something was burning beh...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/news/coral-gables-muckraker-george-volsky-busts-city-manager-david-brown http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/news/sneaky-frenchman-pretends-to-be-realtor He's French, goes by Chris or Christian, and might just be the ballsiest criminal on South Beach. Last month, he hacked into a lockbox outside an apartment that was available for rent, took the keys, and plastered his cell phone number on signs near the building.

Then he rented the pl...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/news/sneaky-frenchman-pretends-to-be-realtor http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/news/mining-industry-shuts-out-meddlesome-lawyer In a bleak meeting room inside a dull government building, the safety of your drinking water is being debated in a scientific language you likely don't understand. And one of the people with the deepest knowledge about the issue isn't allowed to attend.

As New Times reported in Mar...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/news/mining-industry-shuts-out-meddlesome-lawyer http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/news/dentist-makes-vibrating-oral-sex-aid-for-denture-wearers A few years ago, Dr. Joe, a dentist from Palm Beach County, had a female patient with a special problem. Her upper and lower dentures rattled when she performed oral sex on her boyfriend. Dr. Joe suggested she simply take them out. But the woman was distraught. Her boyfriend, she said, didn't kno...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/news/dentist-makes-vibrating-oral-sex-aid-for-denture-wearers http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/news/letters-from-the-issue-of-august-28-2008 Judge for Yourself

Skewed reporter: How much did Tim Elfrink get paid for the obvious endorsement of one candidate and slander of another in "Take This Corona. Please." (August 21)? I read this paper all the time, and there's a lot of interesting work. I have never commented...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/news/letters-from-the-issue-of-august-28-2008 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/news/is-he-a-swinger-or-a-cheater Hello, Kitty:

After 12 years of marriage to a wonderful woman, I've been seriously considering asking my wife to join me in swinging. Not as in what kids do at a playground, but the adult sort. I vowed to be with my wife for better or for worse, but when I said that, I had no idea ...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/news/is-he-a-swinger-or-a-cheater http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/music/my-morning-jacket-might-be-the-best-live-band-ever I'm not sure of the exact moment when My Morning Jacket became the best live band in the world, but I'll never forget the instant I realized it. It was 12:10 a.m. on a foggy New Year's morning in San Francisco; 2006 had just flowed into 2007. In honor of the holiday, the band transformed that cit...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/music/my-morning-jacket-might-be-the-best-live-band-ever http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/music/peasants-with-feathers-comes-to-roost-at-ps14 The first time I saw Armando Santelices, the noisy experimental sound artist known as Peasants with Feathers, he was almost invisible under a black hooded cloak. Huge bear claw slippers swaddled his feet, and in his hands (which were covered in black gloves with long fake fingernails attached) he...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/music/peasants-with-feathers-comes-to-roost-at-ps14 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/music/dj-shannon-is-miami-s-dj-queenpin It doesn't matter where you come from or where you're headed — if you make the inner-city scene Saturday night, you make Back Door Bamby at The Vagabond. Why? Well, for one thing, because it's a party with a pedigree, and there are damn few of those left anymore. And for another, because th...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/music/dj-shannon-is-miami-s-dj-queenpin http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/music/the-worst-jobs-in-rock-and-roll Labor Day is once again upon us, so we thought we'd pay tribute to America's celebration of the working man by recognizing the worst jobs in rock. They don't get any shittier than these, boys and girls.

Guns N' Roses' management: June saw the release of nine allegedly mastered trac...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/music/the-worst-jobs-in-rock-and-roll http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/music/handicapping-the-last-moca-battle-of-the-bands As the summer draws to a close, so too does the Museum of Contemporary Art's exhibition "Sympathy for the Devil: Art and Rock and Roll Since 1967." But there are still a few events to come, most notably this Thursday's final installment of the Battle of the Bands series. The winner will receive a...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/music/handicapping-the-last-moca-battle-of-the-bands http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/music/geordano-henriquez Geordano Henriquez lately has been a radio darling around the nation thanks to "Besos," the upbeat slice of garage pop he wrote for his solo project a few years ago. After many years of owning the Latin rock scene around Boston, he's now based in Orlando, and heads farther south this Friday for a...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/music/geordano-henriquez http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/music/rick-udlerbrazilian-guitar-workshop-and-concert In Brazil, where musical virtuosos (Sergio Mendes, Gilberto Gil, Antonio Carlos Jobim, et al.) are as abundant as lunatics on our local roadways, guitarist Rick Udler has achieved considerable acclaim. Born in Chile and raised in the States and São Paulo, he lived at various times in New O...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/music/rick-udlerbrazilian-guitar-workshop-and-concert http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/music/roger-sanchez As one of the most consistently in-demand house music icons, Roger Sanchez plays in all of the world's most fabled nightlife paradises: Ibiza, Mykonos, Las Vegas, and, well, here. Miami in particular has been a staple market for the Dominican-American DJ/producer since he began dropping singles i...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/music/roger-sanchez http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/music/black-tide-and-bullet-for-my-valentinewith-bleeding-through Does being in a sub-21 thrash-metal outfit guarantee an early exit from the innocence of childhood, or a permanent home in pubescent immaturity? We don't think the young shredders of Black Tide really give a shit one way or the other; they're too busy basking in the warmth of critical acclaim and...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/music/black-tide-and-bullet-for-my-valentinewith-bleeding-through http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/music/efon Rappers out of Palm Beach County don't get a lot of love in these parts. Everyone's eyes are on Miami's scene, but South Florida rapper/producer Efon is working to change that. He's put out a series of mixtapes titled The Free Album for a number of years, showcasing independent artists, an...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/music/efon http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/music/joy-division What makes the Joy Division mythos similarly captivating and difficult to penetrate is it's dominated by three genius spirits, each one threatening to consume the other. There's frontman Ian Curtis, Keats-like in how he conveyed those aspects of human fragility. There's Factory Records svengali T...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/music/joy-division http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/music/love-peace-amp-poetry-chilean-psychedelic-music Continuing to prove that psychedelic rock was as omnipresent in the Sixties as it is loosely defined today, the 10th volume in the QDK Media series further breaks down the definition of "Latin American psychedelic music," the label explored in its second volume. After delivering tunes from Brazil...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/music/love-peace-amp-poetry-chilean-psychedelic-music http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/music/lindstr-oslash-m Dance music dilettante Hans Peter Lindstrøm believes that old adage regarding life being about the journey rather than the destination. He's known for lush forays into the breach, led by disco's ebbing conga pulse and a glimmer of stoned wisdom. With fellow Norwegian collaborator Prins Tho...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/music/lindstr-oslash-m http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/dining/tap-tap-has-the-haitian-eats-in-miami-beach "Undersell and overdeliver." That's the philosophy of restaurateur David Chang, as recently expressed on The Charlie Rose Show. Mr. Chang, as most epicures know, is chef/owner of three hugely popular and critically acclaimed Momofuku noodle and ssäm bars in New York City. As recipient...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/dining/tap-tap-has-the-haitian-eats-in-miami-beach http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/film/spy-vs-why Despite his reputation as the rarest of creatures — a Hollywood intellectual — new evidence suggests Steve Martin reads ... prepare yourself ... thrillers and spy novels. Or at least that's the only conclusion one can draw from the "Story by" credit the comedian receives on Traitor...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/film/spy-vs-why http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/film/the-next-hit This locally produced movie about Miami hip-hop includes everything you'd expect: pretty pictures, lots of violence, and good urban music. Starring Lark Voorhies (of Saved by the Bell fame) and Fredro Starr, it's a "whodunit" in which "at least three rap icons are killed and a producer get...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/film/the-next-hit http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/earl-grey-anyone Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/earl-grey-anyone http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/bottoms-up Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/bottoms-up http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/nice-throw Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/nice-throw http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/new-era-canes Miami Hurricanes at the OB, its final few moments on Earth seemed to be a sign of how much things needed ...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/new-era-canes http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/suds-get-in-your-eyes Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/suds-get-in-your-eyes http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/jewish-salsa Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/jewish-salsa http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/do-the-reggay Toots and the Maytals has been covered by a who’s who of influent...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/do-the-reggay http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/holla-at-your-boy Young Jeezy. His slow Southern flow and real-life lyrics have earned him a special place in the hearts of rap purists and hip-poppers alike. His ad-libs are legendary. Can we get a ...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/holla-at-your-boy http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/put-down-the-meat Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/put-down-the-meat http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/haitian-art-with-a-heart &#...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/haitian-art-with-a-heart http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/slip-sliding-away Florida Marlins. What was once a one-and-a-half-game deficit in the standings has now become an inauspicious uphill battle. Before the All-Star break, Dan Uggla was crushing baseballs over fences, Hanley Ramirez was on his way to an MV...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/slip-sliding-away http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/it-s-no-coincidencia Cosecha 2008, an exotic cornucopia of Afro-Latin and Caribbean artists from across the lower part of the Wester...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/it-s-no-coincidencia http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/laughs-for-the-working-stiff Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/laughs-for-the-working-stiff http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/behind-these-gates Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/behind-these-gates http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/this-film-screams Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/this-film-screams http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/green-with-envy Better Homes and Gardens Living Green Tou...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/green-with-envy http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/where-s-joey-greco The Last Mistress is everything you could want in a French film. There's a hot boy, a seductive girl, a scandal of the aristocracy, an extramarital affair, plenty of uncensored sex, and, finally, a duel. The story centers around Ryno, a roguish gentleman reputed in French high society ...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/where-s-joey-greco http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/be-your-own-bedazzler Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/be-your-own-bedazzler http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/futbol-hooligans-stand-up Minnesota Thunder; we’ve got the Miam...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/calendar/futbol-hooligans-stand-up http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/culture/gablestage-introduces-us-to-the-forgotten-actors-in-the-war-in-iraq What if Iraq had gone well? was the question many good-hearted liberals asked after reading George Packer's 2007 New Yorker article Betrayed. Suddenly everything that seemed to be true about our then-foundering effort was not only wrong but also naively beside the point. The ...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/culture/gablestage-introduces-us-to-the-forgotten-actors-in-the-war-in-iraq http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/culture/diaspora-vibe-gallery-offers-a-crazy-cacophony-in-the-design-district A fortune cookie version of Carolina Vasquez's life greets visitors to Diaspora Vibe. On a monitor at the gallery's entrance, her 25 years in 6 mins 15 secs assaults the peepers with a video collage of the artist's life that flashes so quickly it makes the viewer dizzy. Thousands of images...]]> Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/culture/diaspora-vibe-gallery-offers-a-crazy-cacophony-in-the-design-district http://www.miaminewtimes.com/2008-08-28/culture/art-capsules Tales from the Far Side